In my communication seminars, I often ask participants if they feel they receive enough appreciation. They always answer “No.” When individuals feel unappreciated, their self-esteem goes down, their energy diminishes and their motivation to work well with others is lost.

There are two ways to give appreciation, appreciating others for what they have done and appreciating others just for who they are. Giving appreciation to others can sometimes be difficult. Others are often embarrassed by kind words and sometimes they are suspicious of your hidden motivation. I remember one manager at a pharmaceutical company being surprised to learn that sending a “thank you” by email was not nearly as satisfying to the individual as a hand written note or a “thank you” in person would have been.

 A friend once told me how dissatisfied he felt the day after the party that he had hosted. He had invited the guests, cleaned the house, cooked the food, and clean up after. When his friends left, they thanked him for inviting them but he felt disappointed that no one called to say thanks the next day.

 There are many little things we do for others each day. At home we may shop or clean or even wear something that we think will please others. We might not do it for praise, but we are nourished when someone says something sincere and heart-felt.

 What can you say when giving appreciation?

• “I appreciate all of the work you did in preparing that report.”
• “I enjoy working with you.”
• “Your positive words helped us through that difficult meeting.”
• “Thanks for being you.... Would you like to hear me say more?”

I knew a human resources manager who started her day selecting two of her staff members and watching for things they did well during the day. When she saw something she would tell them. Her focus on appreciation made her feel more alert and more positive. Not surprisingly, teamwork and morale in her department was high.

Sometimes appreciation comes when a manager, or a company, holds annual meetings where awards are given out or employees are treated to social activities away from the office. Having pizza Friday is a welcome part of appreciating employees.

Fun seems to be an essential part of giving appreciation. In a humour seminar that I attended, participants are invited to interrupt the presenter at any time and ask others for a standing ovation. The interruptions were frequent and results were delightful.

Not all appreciation has to be given spontaneously. Just once, in a playful voice, would you consider asking someone for some appreciation? If so, tell them exactly what you would like to hear them say. You might try, “I sure would like to hear you tell me what I great job I just did.”

Giving and receiving appreciation makes it easier for each person to enjoy daily living. Is there anything which is keeping you from being a little more appreciative in the week ahead?

Write me with what you try in the week ahead. I will respond with some appreciation.

I would like to hear from you.

Leslie

leslie@leslieroseseminars.com