Holiday time brings us together for good cheer with co-workers, friends and family. Perhaps one or two of them have been unkind to you recently, or a long time ago. Even if you are sure the problem is their fault, would it be tempting to forgive even one of them for what they have said or done?

I have been leading seminars and making conference presentations for over 25 years. When I was eight years old, I remember clearly being interested in teaching others how to communicate better. I decided that parents and teachers just did not know how to listen to kids and someone should tell them how.Thirteen years later, my Masters degree program included a valuable course on effective listening. It was based on the ideas popularized by well-known American psychologist Dr. Carl Rogers. Rogers emphasized the importance of empathizing with the people who were speaking to you. To feel empathy for their thoughts and feelings,...